“You see, God shows up best when we aren’t capable, because that’s when we pray that He do the impossible through us. We say, ‘God, I know I can’t do this, but I pray that you would make it happen and that you would be shown through me instead.’”I had gone to talk to this pastor mainly to thank him for coming and tell him that his message inspired me. But God works in cool ways, and I ended up getting way more from the small conversation than I had bargained for. Those two sentences opened my eyes. I realized that it’s okay that I’m quiet—in fact it’s good. If I was perfectly capable of everything, I wouldn’t need God. But I’m not, and I do:) This summer is my time to desperately pray that God would do things in me that I no one could ever see coming. I am a naturally quiet and reserved person unless I know the people I’m around very (very) well. And yet I want to be able to make a big group of people laugh. I want to lead this Bible study (and others at school or my dance studio) as best as I can. It’s hard for me to have faith that God can make this happen within me. If I keep the right mindset (that me becoming more outgoing is so I can bring glory to God and not myself), then God can make it happen—if it be His will. Psalm 77:14 reminds me, “You are the God who performs miracles.” (It truly would be a miracle if I became outgoing!) But the point is, God makes the impossible, possible, because what better way is there to show that He is a loving, good, and all-powerful God? So right now I’m learning that I don’t have to change in order to be the person God wants me to be. He is always there to help me grow and mature, but He doesn’t want me to become someone else. He loves me as the musically inclined, book-reading, and nature-loving girl I am. I don’t have to hide under my insecurities or faults, because when I’m incapable, God shows up best. Imagine if you stopped trying to change what you don’t like about yourself, and instead you embraced those unique and amazing qualities that God gave you. What could you accomplish—or better yet—what could God accomplish through you?
I have always been a dreamer—visualizing different scenarios that would quite possibly make “the perfect life.” Sometimes the dreams make sense, and sometimes…not so much. But a lot of times, I realize how much work it’ll take to make those dreams happen and I freak out and never do anything about them. Not a good course of action, I know. Recently, I got caught up in the middle of one of these dreams. About a year ago, I started a Bible study with some friends. It ended up going really well, but now all three of my “partners” are graduating—and that leaves me to lead the group. (Two other girls are now joining me, and I am super excited about it, it just took me a while to get over the fact that three amazing and fun people were leaving!) But anyways, I was talking to this pastor at my school (his messages originally inspired me to start the Bible study!), and I began telling him about our little group—and the fact that I would be leading more seriously next year. I told him that I love talking about Jesus, so I have no problem with sharing my thoughts on different passages or even organizing different activities within the group. What I do have a problem with is being the fun person that brings people together and makes them laugh. It came so naturally for my friends to talk to the whole group at once, telling stories or jokes or whatever else came to mind—and everyone loved it. It doesn’t come so naturally for me. Here’s where the dreaming comes in. Some days I so desperately want to be outgoing. If I believe it, it’ll happen, right? Oh wait… I’ve been praying that God would help me to step up as a leader, but I guess I figured that I would just have to work really hard to become an extrovert—or at least an outgoing introvert! This whole dilemma was sorta freaking me out, until recently. As I was talking to Pastor Brian, he told me something I hope I never forget. He said something like this: